


How It is to Feel

by LeafHalvesandBlankets



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Era, Fluff, Insomnia, M/M, Mutual Pining, One Shot, Pining, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:22:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28280826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeafHalvesandBlankets/pseuds/LeafHalvesandBlankets
Summary: Eren and Levi both can’t seem to fall asleep but find comfort in each other.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Kudos: 45





	How It is to Feel

Eren walked over to the table Levi was at and slumped down, his forehead resting in his folded elbows. No use in leaving if he was already here.

“Why are you up at this hour,” Eren couldn’t tell if Levi was mindlessly reading the newspaper or glaring at him in question when he said this. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Eren looked up from his slumped form, putting his hand up against his cheek. The smirk on his face only getting a quizzical glare from Levi. He sighed and looked away trying to find something worth looking at in the empty almost dark room, “can’t sleep I guess.”

“You of all people need sleep but I suppose you of all people would also have the most trouble.” Levi said this without looking up from his paper but his intention was far from apathetic. 

“What about you! You’re sounding awfully hypocritical, sir”

“Remember, it’s late, try to keep your voice down,” Levi would’ve laughed with the stubborn look on Eren’s face when he tried his best to avoid the accusation. “I’m busy and have other more pending issues than worrying about sleeping”

“Ha! Like what,” there it is “I doubt Erwin cares so much about ‘pending issues’ to the point of not letting his best soldier get all the hours of sleep he can” 

“Ok, you caught me. Can I not enjoy the less chaotic environment of the early hours?” Levi looked as though he was about to smirk, “You know, the best soldier likes having a bit of free time alone sometimes and if that means staying up then so be it. I don’t mind you joining me but I will have to ask you why you’re up as well,” Levi lifted his teacup to take a sip waiting for a response, his cup hiding his hint of a smile.

“Maybe I like having alone time too.”

“Go jerk off somewhere else then. God knows you need it”

“Not that type of alone time.” Eren rolled his eyes and smiled, “You make me question what you do when you’re by yourself”

“Pending issues.” He said it with a smirk. Even Eren could tell it was sarcastic. Not many can tell the tone when it’s coming from Levi.

“Ok then…” Eren returned the tone and continued “Eh, believe it or not but I do try to sleep. I get nightmares a lot though which does make it hard. And I know blah blah everyone gets them but you’d think I would’ve gotten used to them by now,” Eren laughed uneasily.

“Hey I’m not really used to them either. Insomnia sure doesn’t help. Maybe a little deep into a conversation but I can pour you some tea if you’d like,” Levi noticed the confused glance and continued, “it’s always helped me at least a little bit to be calm and fall asleep. you could probably use some,” He didn’t give Eren time to answer before he poured him some tea anyway. 

The action, whether the tea helps him sleep or not, made Eren feel oddly safe and warm, “You know you’re much more talkative alone,” he said “and oddly caring.”

“and what is your standard of caring for me usually? I offer you tea and I’m suddenly the nicest person in the world? Or maybe it’s because I told you to go and masturbate.”

“Gave me a to do list of what to do later I suppose”

“As much as I love talking about your later plans, I think it is time for me to go and make an attempt at sleeping and so should you”

“You just poured me tea though!” If Eren were to continue the sentence he would’ve said something along the lines of that they were starting to have a somewhat deep conversation. He didn’t finish his thought though because maybe they weren’t and Levi had already walked an awkwardly far distance to walk back. 

After the large mess hall doors shut with enough force to where it wasn’t loud yet still closed, Eren sighed, with a yawn interrupting and he finished his tea quickly before getting up and continuing the same trek to bed as Levi. 

His heels click as he walks through the humidly cold hallways lit with candles, surprisingly still burning. He starts down the stairs to his sad excuse of a bedroom and thinks to himself. 

Everyone in the building teases him about being so casual with Levi, even Hanji says that he’s pretty close and that’s coming from the person who’s known him the longest. Eren would be lying if he said he didn’t like being so “intimate” with him but it didn’t strike him that he was the only one to get so close. He’d also be lying if he said that he didn’t want to be even more intimate with Levi. Eren has never really thought about relationships before. The whole thing seems silly but yet something at least related sounds nice when it comes to Levi. 

He finally reached his room. It was the same basement cell but he’s trusted enough that no one feels the need to lock him up. Of course the military police don’t know nor would they accept that but they aren’t here right now nor do they know Eren. They only view him as a pest. Not human. 

Eren got changed into his night wear, the clothes he should’ve gotten into earlier tonight but he knew he wouldn’t have gone to bed till later anyway. Eren got into his bed, despite him being somewhat trusted by his peers in the castle, he bed situation is less fortunate than everyone else’s. His sheets were thinner and littered with small holes waiting to grow bigger. His bedroom is also cooler, being underground and all. Eren could complain but it doesn’t matter too much to him, being naturally warm and all. Although one of these days the mattress might break his back in two. 

Eren was almost comfortable when he realized that he left his tea cup sitting on the mess hall table instead of disposing of it in the kitchen. He doubted Levi did the same thing or else Eren would have followed suite. A dumb thing to get paranoid about but, Levi’s cleanliness, dare he say it, started to rub off on him. 

Eren did get up and did make it to the mess hall and lo and behold, he and Levi’s cups were still there.

He washed up and started to make his way back when he noticed a pale light barely managing to bounce off the walls and make it to where Eren saw. Most of the lights of the candles were drowning in their wax. This light was brighter so curious, Eren made his way closer. 

The path was familiar. Eren walked the way to bring tea to Levi all the time and even just to say hello and really any excuse just to see and speak with Levi even if it was a simple “I’m busy. go away.” The theory was correct, the light came from the very man’s room. Eren opened the door thinking he was just going to blow out the candle that Levi must’ve forgotten to do before slipping away to slumber but no Levi purposely kept the candle going because he was wide awake, his pen to paper, yet not writing. 

Levi looked up from his desk, admittedly a little startled, and put his pen down, “You know you should knock first, I can’t hear your footsteps with what you're wearing,” he said. 

Eren looked down and realized he forgot to slip on shoes after changing to go put the cups away. How did he not even notice? He laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck looking to the corner of the room, “I’m sorry, sir. About both not wearing shoes and not knocking”

Levi’s face morphed from annoyed and frustrated over paperwork to soft tired eyes and lightened eyebrows, “It’s ok,” he said softly, “I don’t want to say it but I’m glad you decided to come here. This stupid paperwork won’t stop glaring at me.” 

Eren took a seat on the chair on the left side of the door in Levi’s bedroom. He smirked, “You know, you really are kind of a hypocrite, sir,” He waited for Levi to ask him how so but the question never came so he continued, “I mean you tell me that I need sleep yet you don’t sleep yourself?”

“You brat,” Levi said lovingly then sighed, “Ugh you’re right. I just can’t sleep, I don’t know why but that’s how it’s always been.”

“Walk with me”

“Huh? Funny to be giving me order-“

“No please! Trust me just let’s get out of here.”

For some reason, Levi was quick to his feet and walked towards the bedroom door and Eren was holding it open for him with his shit eating grin. Both of them pretended not to notice the way their hands brushed against each other’s for less than a split second when Levi walked past Eren out of the room. 

The halls were now pitch black with the only light being the moon and bright stars covered by cloudy skies. They walked down the corridors in silence but when Eren went to take a turn Levi spoke up.

“You’re pretty desperate to go outside huh. I doubt you’d want to walk on the ground with nothing but socks but you never cease to surprise me.”

“Oh right. Do you mind if we walk down to my bedroom to receive them?”

“I wasn’t suggesting otherwise” Eren smiled and they made their way down the stairs

It wasn’t too unexpected for Eren to be this forward to Levi but it was definitely the first with this context of comfort and closeness. They walked to Eren's room in welcome silence as if they have known each other for years and years. They loved it. 

Levi had always been intrigued by the brunette. With every breath he takes, Levi just falls deeper and deeper into the whole of infatuation with Eren. Levi had never really felt love on a romantic level so he wasn’t sure what to expect or if it was what he was feeling but the butterflies and breaths he didn’t know he was holding around Eren were definitely new to him. 

Eren slipped on his shoes and once they exited the bedroom, he grabbed Levi’s hand with a smile and started running down the corridor and up the stairs. Once they reached the top, Eren went to run again but Levi pulled back and went to say something along the lines of “shitty brat” or “way to wake everyone up within a mile radius with those loud boots of yours,” but instead nothing came out and Eren took this as a sign to continue their adventure outside. 

Levi caught his voice once they walked a bit outside and said, “Let’s go to the roof, the air is cleaner and we can get off our feet from all that running and just relax.”

“Great idea!,” he looked starstruck at the suggestion. Must not have gotten on a lot of roofs, Levi thinks. 

“I know I’m full of them.” He deadpans.

Like Levi, Eren also fell in the deep hole of absolute admiration and infatuation for the other but unlike Levi, he understood what the feeling must’ve been. Love. Eren didn’t really know till Armin had to ram the idea in his head. He didn’t know it was that obvious. Armin said that if Eren didn’t want everyone to know that he’d have to stop looking at the captain with those eyes. Cmon Armin. “Well it is true, I mean, who wouldn’t be in absolute love with the captain,” He tells Armin, “He’s so caring even if he doesn’t show it and he’s strong and might as well be the best at everything except he’s extremely humble as well. Hard to imagine not bragging about being that graceful.” Eren always ends up getting lost in his daydreams and imagination, he’s just so lucky he can even be as close as he is with the Captain. 

They find an easy way up on the side of the castle and they could only hope that no one happened to look outside or even here them as they climbed up. 

There was a ladder for most of the way but on the last few feet to the very flat top, they would have to climb. Eren went first, hopping up quickly, as though he has climbed many roofs, and grabs Levi’s hand to help him up. After Levi was up, their hands still held onto each other as if they were the only two in the world before Levi quickly pulled back. 

They end up sitting side by side with a foot worth of space in between. They looked at each other for a little bit longer than necessary before Eren flopped down on the floor behind him, with his head resting on his arms. “I’m glad you didn’t kick me out and tell me to go to bed. I didn’t have a plan B but coming up here with you was also not on my plans. Thank you though, sometimes it helps to just get away from everything.”

“I’m glad too.”

“For what? I forced you out here you know”

“No you didn’t. If I didn’t want to come here I wouldn't have, and you of all people should know that.” 

Eren smiled once again, “I’m so happy then. Even more than before if that’s possible. 

“Like you said, everyone just needs to get away. I’m glad you showed me how.” 

Eren's smile was even wider and tears threatened to cascade before he leaned up and tackled Levi in a hug and they both ended up on the ground. 

Levi wanted to protest at the unexpected touch but instead he let them lay there for no more than a minute before telling the boy on top of him, “Look. At the sky, Eren.”

Eren rolled over to Levi’s side and looked at what he meant. The clouds rolled away revealing the endless night sky littered with bright colors and stars of every size. It was like nothing they have ever seen before and both were extraordinarily happy. 

Levi sits up and pulls Eren up too before laying his head on the taller’s shoulder. Levi sighed and a slight smile shown upon his face and he closed his eyes while listening to Erens breaths as he still stared at the sky. 

Levi finally opens his eyes after the few silent minutes shared between them, “Eren?”

“Yeah, Levi?”

“Thank you for showing me what it feels like to fall in love,” Levi is shocked after what he just said because while he wanted to say it, he feels embarrassed and weak somehow and-

His overthinking was cut off by the soft lips of the same boy who took his heart and made it all the much bigger. The kiss is sweet and feels like it lasts forever but not long enough to Levi as Eren pulls away and brushes the hair out of Levi’s face that he didn’t even know was there, “I love you too, more than anything. You make me feel like I’m human and just like I belong. Thank you for letting me be myself.”

Levi showed Eren his smile as he knew there was nothing to be afraid of and they collapsed once again onto the ground, with them holding each other in each other’s arms and talking till the sky got lighter but the sun had not shown and they climbed off the roof and went back into the building, hand in hand and laughing as though they would never fall asleep again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I started this fic like a year ago and ended up finishing it in a night tonight lmao so sorry if it seems rushed haha. Also I’m thinking of doing a “sequel” where it’s wholesome smut. Ahhhh please leave a comment I’m desperate for feedback. I hope you liked. Oh yeah check me out on tumblr https://leafhalvesandblankets.tumblr.com/


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